RIGHT?

That’s St. Peter’s Basilica (a.k.a. Basilica Papale di San Pietro in Vaticano) from the top of the adjoining Vatican Museum. My nephew, Jacob, my brother, and I had a great time in that venerable institution.

Interestingly, St. Peter’s is not technically a cathedral, since it is not the seat of any Roman Catholic bishop. Instead, this is a papal basilica, reflected in the name Basilica Papale ….

Yesterday Pope Benedict XVI made his annual speech to the “Roman Rota,” the Vatican tribunal that decides on marriage annulments of Catholics (they auditors/judges sit at round tables; hence “rota,” meaning “wheel). As he has done in the past the pope used his speech to endorse the indissolubility of marriage and the importance of not granting annulments to all and sundry, on any whim or caprice. (This was apparently directed at the United States, which in the past few years has had more annulment cases arbitrated than the rest of the world combined!)

Pope Benedict stressed his desire to break “the vicious circle between quasi-automatic admission to marriage, without adequate preparation and serious examination ... and equally easy judicial declarations” which annul marriages simply because of some problem between the two marrieds. And, taking aim at the culture of quick divorces, he also declared that nobody has the automatic right to be married in a Catholic church.

Interesting. A “right” to marriage. Sure, the papal opinion dealt with a right to marriage in a Catholic church. But that sparked an interesting thought in my mind: the “right” to marriage.

Of course, we have a right to marry or not to marry. That’s part of the freedom human beings enjoy. No one is to be coerced into either state. A right!

According to Paul, both marriage and celibacy are gifts.

… each person has
his own gift from God
one in this manner
[to be single],
and another in that
[to be married].
1 Corinthians 7:7

Gifts, not rights. Gifts to be employed, not rights to be enjoyed. Gifts— endowment, not rights—empowerment. A gift of God, “one in this manner, and another in that,” that enables the gifted one to function effectively and fruitfully in the economy of God.

That’s a different way of looking at the state of marriage/singleness. A gift, not a right. And if one is gifted to enter one state than the other, then it is only by the exercise of one’s gift, that gifted one will be fulfilled and find shalom. For a gift indicates that God has wired us in one way or another.

Regarding celibacy, Jesus said:

“Not all can accept this statement,
but those to whom it has been given.”
Matthew 19:11

There is a “givenness” about it—it’s a gift.

All this to say that one need not necessarily accept the “default” pathways the world forces us to walk on. And one need not necessarily claim the “right” to go one way or the other. Instead, it might be a better idea to discover what one is gifted for—marriage or singleness.

All things considered, it will probably be better for the marriage-gifted one to get married, and for the singleness-gifted one to remain single. Nothing really to do with one’s right, but rather to do with one’s gift.

For those still wondering whether to get married or not, I ask: What’s your gift? What does your “head” tell you about who you are, your personality, your life-story? What does your “heart” say about your passion, your continence? What does your “hand” affirm about your effectiveness for the Lord?

What’s your gift?